26 dates in 26 days. What an idea and what a journey. I did it. I may still be recovering, but I did it. I accomplished my goal. I actually wanted to give up at the end, I was just plain tired of going on a date. every.day.of.my.life. But, I did it and overall I’m glad I did it. Here are a few things I learned.
- A date is just that…A DATE. Not a marriage proposal. Not a proclamation of love. Just a date. Not really a huge deal so we should freak ourselves out so much about them and have so much (self inflicted) stress and pressure.
- Have fun. Luckily I am good at having fun but dates should be fun. No stress. Just fun, especially at first.
- Every person has something good and interesting about them and if we look for it, we surely will find it.
- Giving a girl a sincere compliment goes a-long way. I loved it when my dates would sweetly and kindly compliment me in some way. There were a few guys who put me down or were critical about something which bothered me. How grateful I am for kind words, they go a long way. I stil remember the kind things many guys have said to me. I store them away in my little treasure box, and pull those memories out on a sad day. They really matter to me, and all of us.
- Sincerity is the key to a good date. Sincerely trying to get to know someone because you care and because you value them as a person, is a big deal and very rewarding when you feel that sincerity is a foundational principle.
- Thanks to people who keep their commitments. I had a lot of guys bail on me (well 2 but it felt like a lot). It puts the ask(er) in a bind and really is inconsiderate. I really want to be better with my commitments and be dependable. It is respectful and important.
- Usually the best looking guys make the worst dates. I’m serious. Nerds are so in (and so much cute-er).
- I need to remember I am most likely NOT going to marry them. It’s true. I have a ridiculously low batting dating average. Like 0%. But I’ll tell you what, when I do hit a home run it will be the best.day.ever.
- Be kind. Be Christian. Be nice. I hate how dating doesn’t bring out the best in us. It really should though. At the end of the day, things probably won’t work out most of the time. If we were more Christian and careful with each other there would be a lot less hurting and a lot more understanding. Sure, dating hurts and it doesn’t always work out how you hope it will. There is no excuse to be unkind or mean and careless with people’s hearts. I don’t think we realize the ways we hurt eachother. I appreciate those few who I know they care about me as a person. Even if things don’t progress I can still call them friend.
- It’s my own excitement and expectations that make me sad about dating. If I take down my expectations and limit my excitement…I don’t get as discouraged or disappointed when my expectations aren’t met and the excitement fades away. In other worlds (which my mom says) Don’t get ahead of yourself.
- Thanks to every guy who asks me out, has a plan, and pays for the date. I appreciate it in such a new and profound way. We sure need to as ladies make sure we look them in the eye and express gratitude for their efforts on our behalf.
It was a good experience and I’m glad that I undertook such an adventure (even if I did feel CRAZY at times). I’m not in love with any of the 26 or really dating any of them right now but I am grateful to have had the chance to spend tiem with such great Men. Beacuse of them I’m a refined and better version of me. In the future I’m more thoughtful with dating and I know I now appreciate things that I didn’t appreciate before. I know I can improve on my interaction with others and I’m sure that I have much more to learn with dating. Sometimes your heart gets hurt by the actions of others, and sometimes you are so happy you could explode, and sometimes you get frustrated, discouraged, disappointed and sometimes you feel alone in your single-dom. I’ve felt all of these emotions in the past 26 days. But I believe that there is a plan, and I trust in that plan for me. You can either be a miserable and bitter single person or a happy and hopeful single person. I choose the latter. The truth of the matter is that when Mr. 27 comes along, whenever that may be, he’ll recognize what he’s looking for (me) and he’ll be a whole lot more than a home run in my dating life’s batting average.
Being single at 27 is hard for me, and I’m swimming in uncharted/unplanned waters in my life. I’ve learned, life really never works out how we plan. I mean, I totally thought I would be “living the dream” by now (aka married, with handome husband, 1-3 kids, cute cozy house, dog, play dates at the park, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for lunch, little red-headed girl calling me mom, someone to cuddle up with at night, my teammate at my side, summer afternoons with homemade popsicles, giving my parents grandkids 8,9 & 10, watching my kids grow up playing with their cousins, living a simple, faithful, service-filled happy life).
I don’t know why I’m still single but I do believe that I can still be happy and live a fulfilled life without waiting for Mr. 27 to come around to start living. I have been so blessed with many opportunities and experiences that, in the end, will make my life better. A dear friend said to me once “it won’t only be better, it will be best in the long run.” I believe that to be true and I choose to “live my dream” even if it is a modified dream in the present, with a few lonely nights, a few broken hearts, and some personal growth in between.
Life is good if we choose to make it so. God has a plan for my life, He has a plan for all of us.
The future is bright and one day the wonderful Mr. 27 will come along. I just know it.
Thanks for listening. I’ll continue my life’s adventures HERE
